Houseguest Evicted

I put off doing laundry for a long time. I bought more socks and wore scorned shirts from the back of the closet. I really wanted to know if the basement poison had been effective, but I didn't want to know badly enough to open that door.

But I did, yesterday. I flung the door silently and suddenly open, turned on all the lights, and remained alert for any signs of movement. Nothing. I stared at the pieces of dryer lint that had fallen from the wastebasket. Just lint. Then I saw the tiny lump lying near the water softener. The dead houseguest.

I didn't stay to look at it closely. I went back upstairs to wring my hands and pace. I was sort of happy that my problem might be taken care of and considered for a while just leaving the evidence there and hoping that it would evaporate. I settled upon this idea for long enough to go back down and put in a load of laundry, but the room just felt so creepy and I could not stop staring at the corner where the body lay. I was worried that it might move.

So I gave myself a pep talk. I reminded myself that I have extensive babysitting experience and I have handled stuff that smells and looks bad. Hands can be washed. I can hold my breath.

I found two pieces of cardboard and put on cleaning gloves that reached my elbows and sturdy shoes. I held my breath, tried not to look at what I was doing, and used one piece of cardboard to nudge the body onto the other piece of cardboard.

What happened was unexpected and I do not like the unexpected. I had thought that I would be moving something that was heavy and meaty. It wasn't. The body was light and dry. Wispy. Fragile. An empty shell. The faint memory of a mouse. A ghost. The tail was horrifying but I could not take my eyes from it.

My hands were shaking but I was OK while opening the front door. When I turned the door knob, the body fell off the cardboard, close to my feet, and I screamed loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Nobody came to save me, and I am disturbed by that. So then, the body was at my feet and I had to calm myself and do the cardboard process again. I dropped it outside, several feet from the house and out of sight.

I'm still shivery while in the laundry room. I can hear noises there.